Monday, May 4, 2009

Wall Street and Hong Kong

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Hurtful Hair.

Here's my little shot at the legion of despicable Wall Street scum that recently destroyed our economy. We all hate them, and rightly so. We're all tired of politicians treating them like babies strapped with dynamite and we're all tired of these asses staying rich while the rest of us lose our jobs. But we're also tired of hearing about it, so let's talk about Bruce Lee.

I recently saw some old videos of this guy on YouTube and it made me question reality. How can this guy have done what he apparently did? I'm not talking about "make corny kung fu movies," I'm talking about his feats of physical speed, strength, accuracy, agility, etc.

Below is a video of Lee playing ping pong. I'm actually a pretty decent ping pong player and was proud of that fact until I saw this. If this film is real, on my best day my ping pong skills more closely resemble a trained bear whacking a brick wall with a wet beach towel.

Either this video is fake, or Bruce Lee was a witch.

(NOTE: Lee is playing with nunchucks rather than a paddle. For the unfamiliar, nunchucks are a martial arts weapon consisting of two sticks of wood joined by a short length of chain.)

16 comments:

Jezzka said...

bruce lee was our elvis, our hay-zeus. he was king.

d, did i not tell you asians hold the fountain of youth? truths to realms of enlightenment and powers of levitivity unbeknown st to most?

why are you so surprised by this video? i don't know how nokia got a hold of this video, but i guess the secret is out; it is only the surface of what all asians can do...hehe.

PMMJ said...

That video isn't actually him, but he totally could have done that.

Jon said...

The Bruce Lee videos are part of a Chinese Nokia N96 viral ad campaign from late 2008.

Kelli Wissinger said...

During this video I couldn't help but wonder whether perhaps Lee had simply managed to splice a hole in the space-time continuum while performing his nunchuck routine, using his lethal puma-like reflexes to transport himself into another dimension only attainable by kung fu masters of similar ability, where he was able to sit by eating sashimi while an Asian-looking alien super-soldier performed the mind-blowing tricks for the daft humans after losing a round of poker to Lee.
We're proud of you Bruce, that'll show those body-snatchers to mess with Earth!

Joe Mastroianni said...

On the topic of how awesome Bruce Lee was, this is from his wiki page... Lee's combat movements were at times too fast to be captured on film at 24 frames per second, so many scenes were shot in 32 frame per second to put Lee in slow motion.

Go ahead.. read that again.

Lori said...

that is a pretty awesome video. who knew ping-pong could be so...cool?

Inga Huff said...

Why does the Bruce Lee doll come with removable hands? Kind of indicates he may have been a witch....

popeiler said...

I remember that video coming across the social networks not too long ago and a few people pointed out that it was a series of old Bruce Lee clips edited into a new video. It's the best editing I've ever seen.

As for ping pong, people say I look like a drunk stomping monkey.

Anonymous said...

Oh high holy hell, I don't even care if it wasn't real. I'm in love with that video, good sir.

Laura said...

Bruce Lee's definitely a witch! Like,...duh! OMG.. too cool.

Anonymous said...

i offically feel like the last kid picked in the weakest gym class draft ever. I cant hit the broad side of a barn with handful of jellybeans and mr bruce is trippin the ping pong fantastic with a pair of chucks. Ill be in my hole is you need me

Doug

doug nicodemus said...

bruce lee was not nearly as amazing as dan...however that video could not be real most nunchucks are round...the ball came at too steep an angle for that to work..i think anyway..

Jeremy said...

doug,

get off Dan's jock and do some research. There are a lot of nunchucks with octagonal grips, so this certainly could have been done.

Anonymous said...

Actually, the correct word is nunchaku.

Nowax said...

I was thinking that this may really be about physics and not awesome physical skill. The nun-chucks could be moving like the blades of a fan, so anything lightweight thrown at them would be easily repelled.

Maybe one for Mythbusters?

Andrew Powell said...

Do my eyes decieve me or was that Brandon lee on the other side. Lee v's Lee. My martial arts friends would love to see that.

Won't be long and all our favourite dead move stars will be back with new releases, gotta love CGI