Phony Wedding, Real Marriage

I’ve been away from the blogometer for quite a while and for good reason. The Crazy Half-Nekked Wife and I journeyed across the continent of our birth to the West Coast where comedy, chaos and cocktails ensued.

First stop, San Francisco. My comedy shows at the Purple Onion were both sellouts -–ticket-wise, not content-wise– and Johnny Steele was brilliant. Only an idiot would follow that guy on stage but I was up to the task.

Did another show the next night at a vegan medical conference up in Santa Rosa and met some terrific folks. It’s always fun to chat with people who don’t have shreds of dead animal carcasses dangling from their teeth. (insert smiley face with wink here)

I also signed books at WonderCon, a comics convention in SF that same weekend. Here is a shot of me with Stormtrooper Elvis, a foreshadowing of things to come later in this blog. Just like a Bergman film.



After such a far out weekend of grooviness, we unwound by hiking in Marin County with a group of friends and followed it with some hot tubbing and a massage. Go here for a short video of our friend Anne and me enjoying our hike.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4OEm5k7Om4

It was an extremely pleasurable day with the exception of the hot tub. Anne's boyfriend, Nemo, for reasons yet to be determined by local law enforcement officals, assaulted our eyes with a tiny, black, shiny strip of fabric stretched across his reproductive organ. He called it a bathing suit. We called it the recurring centerpiece of future nightmares.

While in SF, we also went to the studio of my good friend and eminent Rock & Roll photographer, Pat Johnson, for some new publicity shots. He’s the coolest daddio who ever stroked a goatee and we always have fun at his place. Here’s one of the shots he took. In my mind, I’m BB King.



From SF, we flew like naked apes strapped inside a metal tube to Las Vegas for a reenactment of our wedding of six years ago, when I surprised Ashley and a few of her family members with a wedding by an Elvis impersonator. (Yes, I am a classy dude.) Since so few friends or family were at the original shindig, we decided to throw the whole dang thing again. Here’s the pic the chapel provides for only a huge amount of money. Incidentally, there is something funky about the color here. In real life, Ashley's hair is approximately 100% less red than this.



Simultaneously hysterical and touching, the wedding etched its image in the minds of all in attendance for who knows how long. At least until they got wasted at the after party.

Vegas is one of those places that you can’t believe exists outside of the Old Testament, just moments before God obliterates it with a flaming tower of vengeance. But that’s not why I like it. Even though I don’t gamble, it’s one of the last places on earth where you can walk around with a cocktail in your hand and smoke cigars indoors. It’s the little things in life that make me smile.

Here is a shot of me and my good friend, Lance hanging out in a casino. He’s a porn star or something, I think.



Here is a shot of my wife, Ashley, and her bevy of hot babe friends. I'm never too busy for a trip to the beach with her and her gal pals.



I hope you enjoyed this tour of my memory of the last two weeks. Another installment in a week or so.
Smooches.